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At one point, I even stopped reading my horoscope, since Capricorns are ambitious, moneygrabbing little Goats constantly in danger of falling off the mountainside. But I soon discovered Aquarians, a couple of days and column inches away from me, who seemed to be having a far better time, so I now pretend my birth certificate was smudged and that I'm actually a creative, eccentric Water-carrier of great passion.
Maurice is a clairvoyant who just happened to telephone me out of the blue at a time when I was wondering what to do next for this column. He asked me if I was an Aquarian, so I made an appointment to see him the next day. I'm not in therapy, but have always thought the idea of talking about myself for hours was almost as wonderful as having other people talk about me for hours. Ever since he noticed strange things happening to him, this is what Maurice has done for a living.
Maurice's talents are multifarious. He can read palms, interpret tarot cards, will situations to occur and, on occasion, display an ability to move inanimate objects short distances without touching them. He can see, hear and feel things about a person just by looking at them. It's a talent that can come in very handy. For example, Maurice was once stopped by a policeman going the wrong way down a one-way street. The policeman asked him to wind down his window and hand over his licence. As the policeman mulled over its details, Maurice suggested that as the policeman's house was about to be repossessed and his marriage was breaking up, it might be more beneficial to have an informal chat. As luck would have it, the policeman was a Libran and capable of seeing the advantage in this. Half an hour later, Maurice emerged from the police car a free man.
Unfortunately, I do not possess this talent to 'see'. So trying seriously to predict someone's future by reading their cards would be like performing the Indian ropetrick without the rope. I'd be a phoney along with the thousands of other phonies Maurice says he has encountered along the way.
But tarot cards make you feel magical anyway; simply holding them in your hand makes your shoes feel pointy and as if there's some bubble, bubble, toil and trouble in the air.
Each tarot pack is made up of 22 major arcana (cards) and 56 minor arcana. There are thousands of different designs of cards on offer, all made up of fantastic portrayals of natural phenomena, strange symbols and gnarled beasties. The cards, and combinations of them, are representative and have more than 1,000 meanings each. The Moon, for example, is a water energy that signifies either a deception on an emotional level or that something will be revealed. The Empress represents fertility, a full woman, fruitfulness, a feminine power, and pregnancy. The Hermit, complete with wily beard and lantern, shows that all that has been has been, and all that will be will be. In other words, the Hermit is telling you to get on and have a good time, which seems odd coming from a hermit.
The order and pattern in which you lay the cards down are different depending on the reader. There are a thousand different spreads and a million possible meanings, all of which will take you a lot longer to master than patience. Still, it is also far more exciting. Particularly if, as Maurice pointed out, Clint Eastwood happens to have been with us since the beginning of our session.
To book a tarot-card reading, call Maurice Amdur 07976 929 156
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